More tranny stories later!
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
