woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
