I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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