this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
