sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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