I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
