Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize