You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
