i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
