id be glad to
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
