Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
