If that was your dad, he is hot
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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