I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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