i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
