trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
