my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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