I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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