3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
