I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
