I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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