If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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