I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
