its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
