i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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