i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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