In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I have post one night stand depression
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