you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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