He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
