My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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