I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
