i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Everything about him screamed your future.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Randomize
