So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
