I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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