I got chris browned last night
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
