Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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