Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
