no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
