Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
