Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
