Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
