redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
