How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
