Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
