i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
