I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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