He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
