i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
