I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
