the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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