fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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