All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
