it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
